I will help you and your partner to not only identify and clarify the issues but to also develop a plan that addresses each problem step by step; one that supports you in creating the kind of relationship you both want.  It doesn't matter how big or small the problems are, if they've been there for a while, or if the relationship is basically good, but something just "came up."  You may simply need someone to help you sort it out and decide on the direction you want to take.  Consulting with a relationship profesionnal is a wise step to take, especially if your relationship is at stake, or you are in a crisis.  If that is the case, I will help you to make the all-important decision: to create solutions.

 

In the future, when you look back, it may be hard to believe that you once saw only two equally painful options: sticking it out or calling it quits.  I will gently guide you through any anger, pain or disappointment so that we spend most of our time building a relational framework and environment that is loving, stimulating and able to thrive no matter what comes your way.

 

No matter how pessimistic you may feel now, countless couples have told me that counseling has helped them:

• identify the real nature of the central problems

• come to see those problems as fixable, and

• learn tools to resolve them.

 

Even the smallest steps can lead to rebuilding trust and recreating the intimacy you once shared.  I want to guide you and your partner in developing a bond that is even stronger and more nurturing than it was when you started out.

 

 

How We Begin and Work Together

 

     During our first meeting, I like to learn as much as I can about you and your partner - what drew you together, what still works and what does not: actions, attitudes, things that stand in the way of you enjoying each other.  Finally, I want to know what you want to achieve.

 

As always, my goal is to help you to achieve yours.

 

It is important for me to understand what you and your partner brought into the relationship when you first started out such as what you may have learned in your own families about relationships.  These can also include values, cultures, roles, and attitudes about marital/intimate primary relationships.

 

 

What I Do to Help You Feel More Satisfied in Your Relationship

 

     I share with you all the information I have about what makes a relationship work.  I pull from studies that identify the essential ingredients and skills required to form and maintain satisfying, long-term relationships, from couples who have been toether for years (happily) as well as from my 29 years of experience as a psychotherapist and couples counselor.

 

Using a step-by-step process, I:

• provide a safe, neutral and supportive learning environment

• listen to your feelings and experiences

• help you clarify what you want to achieve

• validate what I think you already do well together

• use my eyes and ears to find out what is getting in your way

• share my observations and get your feedback

• suggest the skills you need to improve on or obtain to achieve your goals (They often include listening more effectively and managing emotional intensity.)

• demonstrate the skills and have you try them in the office (The skill-building exercises are designed specifically for you and your partner.)

• witness you both making the commitment to practice the skill-building exercises. (Studies show that the key factor in successful couples' therapy - as reported by couples themselves - is that they practiced skill-building exercises in between sessions.)

 

 

A Closing Thought

 

     Mastering anything is empowering.  Mastering relationship skills to enrich or save your relationship is something else!  You find yourself hopeful again.

 

If you would like more information about Couples Therapy, or would like to make an appointment, I am happy to talk with you and can easily be reached by telephone at (917) 648-1986.